I’m a Little Edinburgh Fringe Worm with no cash, so please read this and share as if it’s poignant so people come to my show
Nobody cares about the fact I’m going to Edinburgh Fringe and neither should they. I’m a comedian going on a jolly for a couple of weeks in a great city with loads of my pals and trying to make people laugh. Yes it’ll probably bankrupt me and I’ve done everything in my power to not lose money hand over fist but even so, nobody is forcing me, it’s fucking great at it’s core (once we overthrow the Tories up there charging thousands for August rents). I could use this piece to get extremely angry about class and how it’s easy to do it if you’re secretly loaded, but we all know that, so allow me to drivel on for 800 words (681 from here on in, OK and that used up five, we’re nearly there) and hopefully encourage you to tweet the link to this piece with one of the following quotes above the link so people think I’ve made some sort of life-changing point;
- Well said Alex, someone needed to. Can’t believe it’s taken this long
- Had no idea she previously hooked up with Liam Neeson! Mad. You never know what people are going through
- If you do one thing today, read this (Then an emoji of your choice but maybe a heart)
- WOW, just….wow
- I could not disagree more, what do you think? #women
My show is about…..WOMEN. Does that make you uncomfortable?! Probably not. You might even know one. It came from working in women’s media and being told every day what to be angry at, what to be turned on by, what to be repulsed by, who to be angry at and why you must always, every single day, be told how to ask for a pay rise. There’s an entire industry dedicated to books about work. Can you believe it? Titles like ‘How To Get What You Want At Work And Shag Your Colleague Respectfully’ and ‘How To Boss Bitch Your Way Into Millions Of Pounds And Shit On Everyone You Know.’ People buy them! Where is the book that says ‘Here’s How To Never Fill In A TimeSheet Ever Again’ — I would buy that. Read books about shagging and love and mad stuff! Not the thing you do all day! I digress.
My show is about how sometimes I’m not angry at the right things and I do stupid shit and that true equality is ripping the piss out of men and women. The day Mother’s Day cards contain a joke is the day Gloria Steinem can have a quick fag break to relax before cracking on with the serious stuff.
And of course, there are properly awful things going on for women at the moment, but you all know about that too. I’m just inviting you to come and laugh at me for 45 minutes in the back of a pub and maybe sling me a tenner at the end for my efforts. (If you don’t, you’re sexist) A lot of Edinburgh shows are about something moving, poignant, tragic or dark, I’m here to tell you that my parents are both alive, sadly were very supportive of me, and never ask me if I’m going to get married. They fed me almost exclusively Findus Crispy Pancakes and Spaghetti Hoops for about 12 years as well so in many ways, they’re legends. I’ve got nice pals, big dark roots that I can’t afford to dye, and my life has mostly been pretty good, despite my job on the ASDA checkout and Morrisons chicken counter, so you can see my issue. In many ways, making a show out of almost exclusively stupid sexual decisions is actually harder. No pun intended. Well it is now, I wrote it and then realised.
Please come and see Woman In Progress at Southsider, 6th — 17th August, at 5.45pm. You won’t regret it, straight away at least. It’s with PBH Free Fringe, so just pay what you want at the end!
Follow me on Instagram if you liked this [at]alexandrahaddow
Thanks and hopefully see you there!